Sometimes...

Most of the time adoptions go smoothly after the match and everything works well.  Sometimes though, for whatever reason the birthmother changes her mind and decides to parent.

We are on the somtimes side of things right now.  We found out this week that the birthmother decided to parent the sweet boy that we were going to adopt.  We are sad and frustrated, but also holding onto our Faith and knowing that he just wasn't the baby that was supposed to be a member of our family.  We are praying for him and hoping that he has a happy life filled with love and laughter, and that the birthparents are content in their decision. 

We are not discouraged.  We know that one day we will get to be parents to a sweet baby who needs us just as much as we need him or her.  This isn't the end of our journey, just a little hiccup.  We are looking forward to Christmas with Benson now that we will be here, and are excited to see his face on Christmas morning when he sees Santa finally brought his presents he has been asking for.

We hope everyone has a Very Merry and Blessed Christmas!

Baby Boy Glenn 2.0!

We got the phone call we had been waiting for on 11/5/2013.  It was our caseworker telling us we had been chosen by birthparents.  I was driving in the car to pick up dinner and started bawling.  Like really bawling, I'm pretty sure everyone at The Grill thinks I am a crazy person.  I called Ben (who was at the gym....yes, he was working out and I was picking up a cheeseburger and fries) and he thought I had been in a wreck because I couldn't even talk.  Carol (our caseworker) told us to wait for a call from Mia (birthmother caseworker).  We were so excited we couldn't handle it.  The next day, Mia called to give us all of the details.  The only worrisome thing is the baby is 25% Native American.  There is a law titled the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA).  Basically this law states that if a baby is an eligible member of a tribe, then that tribe has the final say as to whether or not the baby can be adopted by a person who is not a member of the tribe.  She said all of the paperwork had been sent and received by the tribes and they were waiting on a response.

 

In the meantime, we read over her case file and tried very unsuccessfully to not get our hopes up.  We talked on the phone with the birthmother on 11/20/2013 and everything felt so right.  After the phone call, we were officially "matched" and set about waiting on word from the tribe. 

 

We got word today that per the tribe's laws the baby is not an eligible member.  This means everything is a go!  We are officially going to be parents to a sweet baby boy due in ELEVEN DAYS.

 

We are so extremely excited but also still a little nervous because like all cases the birthmother still has the right to change her mind.  Even though we are nervous we are also CELEBRATING and trying to get everything somewhat ready.

 

Please please pray for us over the next couple of weeks.  Pray for the sweet birthmother as she makes this difficult decision and also for the whole process to be a smooth one.  Also please pray for Benson as he makes his transition into a Big Brother.  Every time we ask him about it he tells us that, “He doesn’t like a baby brother!”  So it could be interestingJ.

 

(Also, to all of the people who have asked me if we have heard anything since the 5^th, I am so very sorry for lying right to your face.  We were not prepared to tell everyone until we had all of the ICWA issues understood.)

 

Husband

Ben has always been incredibly sweet and caring.  Not a day goes by that he doesn't make Benson and me feel like the luckiest little family around.  He always makes me feel special with his sweet gestures and kind words but then there are things he does that really blows me away.

Adoption is expensive, there is no denying it and no way around it.  We have been saving like crazy, but we have also had to cut back in quite a few areas.  Tonight Ben pulled up in a 2005 Chevy Impala that we will be the proud owners of tomorrow evening.   My husband is selling his truck to help put a little more cushion in our adoption fund and be driving the "Silver Bullet" (his name, not mine) so that we can better prepare for Baby Glenn 2.0.

If anyone knows of someone wanting to buy a truck, please send them our way.  The Dodge is officially for sale.

One Month...

As of today, we have officially been waiting for one month.

Waiting is actually a little bit harder than I thought it was going to be.  Such a huge part of our life is beyond anything I can control.  We are at the mercy of the agency, social workers, and birthmothers who have never met us and only know 10 pages worth of information about us.

On the other hand, I am very thankful that we have jobs, family and friends keeping us busy and our mind off of things.  We are trying to live our lives and not sit at the computer or by the phone.

We are still praying for patience and that we will have peace in the process and trust in His timing rather than our own.  We will get an update from the agency at the end of September detailing how many people have viewed our book etc.  We are really looking forward to that!

Done and Done.

Our book is DONE and currently being printed!   This means that as of Monday, our books are OUT and we are officially waiting!

This is beyond exciting for us.  We now have officially done all we can and it feels so good to know that we aren't holding anything up or causing this to take longer than it should.

The bad side of this is now it is the hard part.  The waiting.  We are asking for prayers during this time.  Prayers to be patient and trust in God's timing and know that who, when, and how is already determined and we just have to be faithful.

Yay for Progress!

We received the first three pages of our book tonight and we are beyond excited!  When you're wading your way through a paper pregnancy any progress is good, but this is really encouraging.  Hopefully the book will be complete and out to the masses sooner than we thought.  That means one HUGE step closer to baby!

Here is a copy of the first page, the company we hired to design and print our book are doing an amazing job! 

Out of our Hands

We are finally DONE with our part of our book.  Man alive this book was much harder to write than we thought it was going to be.

No matter how hard we tried, we could not wrap our heads around how to even start.  How do you make yourself come across as the greatest people ever without making it seem like you're a couple of pretentious d bags that think you're the greatest people ever.  See my dilemma.

We finally just sat down and typed whatever came out.  It started out as a whole lotta word vomit but after careful editing we finally got it finished.  We made sure it was as honest and heartfelt as we could be.  We tried to give the birth mother a glimpse of who we are, what we believe, and what type of parents we are.

There is a section for detailing what friends and family have to say.  For those that sent us write-ups THANK YOU!  We cannot tell you what it means to us that you took the time out of your day to do that.  Also, if you're ever having a bad day, make up a book you need people to write things for.  I cannot tell you how loved and blessed I felt after reading what people had to say!

Now, we wait....

We are sending off all of the agency paperwork with our first payment TOMORROW.  Once the book is finished and printed (3-4 weeks), we will send another check to IFS and then our book is OUT.  Out in the hands of birth moms who choose the family to bless with a child.

I am not a very patient person.  Waiting is the worst!  I also like to have a plan, and I don't get to do that either.  We just have no idea when or how this will all happen.  We will just get a phone call one day that will change our life in all the best ways!  It could be two weeks or it could be two years.  We will keep everyone updated as we get updates.  We are so relieved and excited to be this much closer!

The shirt

While going through some things this past weekend I found a shirt.  I bought this shirt around this time a year ago to announce to all of our friends and family that we were expecting our second child.  Unfortunately, the shirt arrived the day after our second miscarriage was confirmed.  I didn't even open the package, I told Ben to just put it somewhere that I couldn't ever find it.  (Turns out Ben isn't the best hider). 

When I found the envelope I had completely forgotten about the shirt and didn't even know what it was.  I tore off the tape and immediately knew what I had just found.  The tears came right away.  At first I didn't even know why I was crying.  I dealt with these feelings a year ago when it all happened.  Then I realized I wasn't crying because I was sad, but because I was happy.  Benson could finally wear his shirt.  It isn't for the reason we originally thought nor do we know when he will officially be a Big Brother, but what I do know is, he will definitely be the BEST big brother around. 

 

We are crazy.

The Glenns can't ever do anything the easy way.  When we had Benson we both started new jobs.  I guess I am a creature of habit.  While we are trying to gather everything we need for the adoption/home study paperwork, I am excited to announce I will be embarking on an entirely different new venture.

I really enjoy being an accountant.  Call me a nerd, but I like the numbers and I like the tax returns.  What I do not enjoy one bit is tax season.  Working 55+ hours a week for four months straight with a toddler made me feel like the worst mother alive.  This year Benson was old enough to voice his opinion of me being away so much and I couldn't take the puffed out lip and crying anymore.  So I finally did something about it!

I am officially the new Jr. Business Analyst for Hilmar Cheese Company.  I start a week from today.  I am definitely nervous, but more excited to take on the new role!

I don't really have any news on the adoption front.  We are still just swimming in paperwork trying to get every little thing we need.  This is definitely a lesson in patience!

Homestudy

Our homestudy is Monday.  I am so anxious to get this first step over with and be closer to the end.  Please pray for us that we don't say something stupid and that Benson doesn't act like a heathen ;).

Here is a glimpse into our life for the past two weeks:

 

 

That is maybe half of the paperwork just for the homestudy.  I'm sure the agency is going to require even more.  We are going to be swimming in papers before the end.

 

Also everyone is cordially invited to a housecleaning party at 1212 Rock Island Sunday afternoon. ;)

 

We hope everyone has a very blessed weekend!

Windows or Doors?

I'm sure you've all heard the quote, "When God closes a door he opens a window."   It is sometimes hard for me to see the window past the door.  I often question if there is a window at all.

Recently, we definitely hit a door.  Right after my previous post, I received some news that we weren't expecting.  The "yes" we had gotten on the Ethiopia program turned into a "no."  It honestly felt like getting punched in the stomach.  We jumped whole heartedly into something expecting the best to only get the worst.

We spent the next couple of weeks processing and trying to figure out where we went wrong.  We felt so called to do something that was no longer an option.  Needless to say, we were extremely confused and didn't know what to do next.  We had gotten some information on a program called Domestic Cross Cultural adoption that we were researching and exploring.  In a nutshell it is a domestic adoption but the baby will be a different race than we are.  It works like most domestic adoptions in that the birth mother picks us and we will meet her at the hospital and bring the baby straight home from there.  The agency works with moms that don't have as big of a "pool" of adopting parents to choose from.  She said there is a big need for families that want to adopt African American or bi-racial kiddos.  Well we fit the bill so to speak.  We aren't doing what we originally thought, but we are still going to get to be parents again to a baby who needs us.  We are really excited to start a new process!

So, to answer my own question: window.  It's ALWAYS windows.

Adpotion is Scary

Well we're putting it out there.  The words we have been scared to death to say for the past year.  "We're going to adopt".

We haven't told many people, but Ben and I have had a rough year.  You see, I  had this perfect little plan.  We were going to have another child when Benson was two, and then another when said baby was two, and so on until we had 4.  It sounded perfect in my mind.  We were going to be this perfect little family and eat apple pie and watch baseball games.  Right?  Not so much.

It turns out that God has a very different plan than mine and most likely laughed at my "perfect family plan".   Right after Benson turned one we started trying for the second baby.  I got pregnant right away and thought "Oh yay, my plan is working."  Then at 7 weeks I had a miscarriage.  It was actually my second one to have because we had one before Benson.  So, since we had been there before, we brushed it off and started trying again.  We got pregnant again right away.  Then at 6 weeks, another miscarriage.  At this point, we decided to run the full gamut of tests to see what was going on.  Finally after waiting for what seemed like an eternity (I think it was like 3 weeks, but still) I get my diagnosis: unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss.  I basically gathered this means they have no idea why it keeps happening so therefore there is no way to treat it.  There are things they "try" to throw at it when you get pregnant, but there aren't any guarantees.

We decided to try one more time.  This time it isn't happening near as fast.

One night I finally muted the TV and turned to Ben and told him I had been thinking a lot about adoption, specifically an adoption from Ethiopia.  God had been putting in my path seemingly everywhere I looked.  I finally got to the point where I could throw my "perfect plan" out the window and actually say "yes" to the only truly perfect plan there is.  At this point I am fully expecting a laugh and snort indicating my loving husband thinks I am completely crazy.  That doesn't even remotely happen.  Instead he looks at me and says, "So have I."  Wai,t what?  He even has gone as far as checking with Hilmar to see what adoption benefits they have.  I was floored.  The Lord really does work in mysterious ways!

For awhile, that was all that was said.  We were still going to give it one more good ol' college try.  Why?  Because I'm human.  I didn't completely trust in the Lord and that he would provide a way for us to bring a baby home.  Finally after the 4th negative pregnancy test I broke down and said "Yes."

Well here we are now, we are getting ready to submit an application and schedule a homestudy.  It is going to be a long and trying road, but we know it is the road we're supposed to be on.  We are asking for everyone to please pray for us during this journey.  We are going to need a lot of patience and even more support.

So in closing, we're doing it.  We're jumping in full force and having faith that He will catch us.  Are we scared?  Beyond.  But normally the scariest things are the most rewarding.